Rest in peace.

I haven't got much to say but that.

I've always, always admired you, as a musician, as a person with amazing dedication. Despite everything you have persevered in music, in singing and making me understand the true values of being a musician.


I'm glad you've never given up... until the end.



I love you, Daisuke-san. Always. You are a truly beautiful person, inside and outside.

Memories of you will remain in our hearts.







Rest in peace.

Thanks to them I've become a gossip addict

It's about Aoi and Kazuki.


(laughs)


Lately my yaoi-radar has been beeping loudly whenever something new came up about them. It began when a fanfic appeared in Jrockyaoi, the pairing was AoixKazuki (I'm so sorry but I forgot who wrote it ><). Normally I don't read crossover pairings, but something attracted me in the fanfic's header. It said, based on Kazuki's blog entries. That made me lift a brow. If it was based on blog entries, wouldn't it be like, based on true story?

The fanfic was about Aoi treating Kazuki for dinner (and how it continued, but I don't really know, I didn't exactly read the whole fic... orz). I knew that GazettE boys had hung out with Screw (I think Aoi, Uruha and Sakai went for drinks with Screw one night), but I never knew Aoi was that friendly with Kazuki. So I googled for Kazuki's blog, searching for the entry that got me curious. I found it.


Well, it was interesting, to say the least (laughs).


In that entry Kazuki spoke of Aoi treating him out for dinner, and then he brought him to his apartment (Aoi brought Kazuki, I meant) and let him play the oh-so-legendary ~en~ (Aoi's guitar). Now if that wasn't yaoi-alert, I don't know what else. (laughs)

It's amusing because Kazuki seems to be an Aoi-fanboy. When I backtracked, there were more entries (I can't remember how much, but there were more) about his meetings with Aoi and Uruha. Such a fanboy; he was so happy when Aoi, Uruha gave him stuff, equipments they no longer use.


I know I am such an AoixRuki die-hard fangirl, but I can't deny these 'hints' made me squeal like the dedicated fujoushi that I am (laughs).


And tonight, unexpectedly, Kazuki popped up in twitter. Yes, that's right! He now has a twitter account, following two of his bandmates and, of course, Aoi! Can you guess who he followed first? Without a doubt: Aoi.


So I squealed again.



Aoi hasn't followed Kazuki yet (he hasn't been checking his twitter, I'm worried... So much for hoping he'd spam all over my timeline (cries)). I can't wait until he does. I can't wait to read what they might tweet to one another. Okay so that's the fujoushi in me speaking, but really. Let's just wait until Aoi logs in again. Come on man, MUCC's Tatsuro tweets insanely, I know you can do better than him! (laughs)


Okay, until then, I'll be around to stalk them both.

It's always been grotesque things

Okay so here I am, having just pimped the blog into what it appears now. I must say, it looks quite lovely. To tell the truth I wanted it to look dark, majority black but most of the dark backgrounds weren't satisfying enough, in my humble opinion *laughs*. But then, using mostly purplish ornaments, I think it looks pretty neat. Hopefully it's also eye-safe.

Oh and I also added the twitter widget on the sidebar. Now you can find out whenever I am in the mood to rant or spam about the most unimportant (and sometimes even disturbing) things.



Blog-pimping aside, I'm here now to talk about my childhood obsession, and I think some of you might remember this movie of which I am about to discuss here. The title is The Addams Family, and if I'm not mistaken it was played in theaters somewhere around the year 1991.

Maybe I was born with the tendency to love everything grotesque, dark, gloomy and gothic. I don't know. But for certain, I loved this movie the first moment I watched it. And I was just a kid back then. If it really was released in 1991, then I would be... 7 years old? Yeah, I think that's correct (pardon my calculating-ability, it doesn't work very well at this time of the night).

The whole atmosphere of this movie is everything I love about fashion, furniture and/or style in general. It's thoroughly dark with a funny side, an uncomfortable contrast had it been displayed elsewhere, but in this movie it became something fresh and amusing. Unlike horror movies, the grotesque side in The Addams Family didn't make me turn away from the screen. Despite the inhuman idea of electrocuting your big brother (in real life he should have turned to roasted meat) and a mutilated hand that could move around by itself, the movie itself was not horrifically scary. Of course, if it had been a horrifically scary movie the rating wouldn't have been family-friendly.

I personally love the characteristic of each member of the Addams Family. The father, Gomez, he looked like a mafia guy to me. The mother, Morticia (don't you just LOVE that name??!), kind of resembled a vampiress. And I love her dress. The kids, Wednesday and... what's her brother's name? *laughs* Well, obviously I put more attention on Wednesday more than I did the brother, but that was because she was one of the most brilliantly-invented characters in the history of movies. Okay I might have exaggerated that a bit. Wednesday is truly my favorite.


Okay so that's Wednesday Friday Addams (more details about her here). Adorable, isn't she? Christina Ricci was the cast, and she had the perfect gloomy, expressionless face to play Wednesday. Twin-braided dark hair, plain dark dress, pale skin... She's my role model. I mean, I've always wanted to look like her, but I don't have the skin complexion that she has *sobs* But maybe someday I can cosplay her... Just for a random, nothing-serious occasion. Her appearance is rather simple, but I will need lots of white powder to achieve that skin tone.


Now I wonder if Michelle Phan can do a tutorial on Wednesday's makeup. I should ask her.


Alright well, The Addams Family was and still is one of my favorite family-comedies. I have just downloaded (yes I know, the shame...) the movie and I'm going to re-watch it when I have the time to. I recommend you or whoever happens to stumble into this blog to watch it too. Who knows you'll fall in love with Wednesday Addams too, like I did.


So that's it for tonight then. I'll see you in another random entry.

Reno's Blog: 2010/06/22

Notes:I don't know why I'm doing this, maybe because it's fun? But I don't know if I'm going to do it regularly... Translating, I mean. Because sometimes these jrockers use weird accents / slangs, and honestly I am just a beginner in Nihongo. I use online translator as well to help me out with the kanji characters. Thus my translation is only 60% trustable *laughs*. But as I already mentioned, I'm just doing this for fun.

Here's the first trial, and it's from Reno's blog. A little warning though. Reno flashes his stuff quite generously.


[Original]
2010/06/22


撮影がんばるぜ～


[Translation]
2010/06/22

Doing my best for the photoshoot~

The return of the unknown

Oh hell.

Do you want me to be honest? Well, honestly, I forgot about the existence of this blog until a few days ago I was lurking around in twitter and saw a bunch of people updating their blogs. I suddenly thought, wouldn't it be nice if I wrote some crap in the blog I had... And then I thought. Oh my god. I have a blog!

Yes. This blog has a very pitiful fate to be so cruelly forgotten.

Which then gets me thinking, is this a good thing, me coming back to this blog? I don't know. Hopefully it is.

Truthfully I have tons of things I wish I could've written right after they happened. People disappointed me, I disappointed myself. I met awesome people and awful people met me. Friends came and went. Stories passed without a history being recorded. My mistake.

This may be another wishful thinking, I mean I know I'll never be a dedicated enough blogger. I already fail hard as a writer. But once in a while I might actually drop by in here and post a story or two, or a dozen if I'm up to it. The point is to share, isn't it?

So once again, greetings and hello.

Even Supergirl falls off the sky, sometimes.

I suck as a blogger. As a matter of fact, I shouldn't even dare calling myself a blogger. I don't post as often as I should and really, what was the point of opening up another blog account if I was just going to abandon it?

I'm sorry...

Is it possible to use my hectic schedule as a reason, though? It's been horrifying, lately. I wonder why I'm still alive and not in a room in a hospital with an IV needle stuck in my veins. I'm not sure what my colleagues, my bosses especially, at the office think of me, but it seems all of them believed I had the stamina and patience of a goddess, which I hadn't. Imagine three superiors ordering you to do three different tasks at once. Imagine doing that and not falling apart at the end of the day.

Okay so maybe I can't complain. It's a choice I've made to work there and honestly speaking I'm not sure I had the courage to try applying somewhere else, not to mention a private company where, although it pays more, it also might cause me my early death. Yeah well, it's all 'suffer in order to survive' thing, I guess.

I'm just hoping I won't lose my mind before I turn 30.


Well, speaking of schedule, I guess it's the one thing that ruined the frequency of me updating my fanfictions. This, above all, depresses me the most. I mean, let's not talk about how the readers must feel, let's first talk about how my brain feels. The poor thing is nearly overloaded with too many thoughts to think at once, from work matters to story ideas that haven't met their moment to be written yet. There are lots of new ideas, believe me. There are also still the old ideas, the stories I've already posted but haven't been updated yet.

I've mentioned the new fanfiction I've been writing called Beautiful Lie [to Believe in]. Well, I'm translating it into English too, and have posted the first chapter on LJ already. It's probably the one thing I prioritize the most right now--not saying that I'm putting behind the other stories, like House of Horrors and Love Song and also the 5sentence_fics drabbles (I've been writing the fourth installment! I swear it!). The ideas about that story are still very, very fresh, and I thought it'd be better to focus on Beautiful Lie first. Maybe because the theme is the heaviest, most intense I've worked on until now, but I feel very challenged to get this story on the go.


So I guess, now it's time to do the Fanfic Progress Recap.

• House of Horrors chapter 04 = 06%
• 5sentence_fics the fourth batch (prompts 16-20) = 80%
• Love Song chapter 02 = 08%
• Beautiful Lie [to Believe in] chapter 02 (English) = 0%
• Beautiful Lie [to Believe in] chapter 03 (Indonesian) = 07%

I regrettably say that I'm having a writer's block right now, but I still have the drabbles to do, and I like to think that it helps me a lot whenever I'm having this cursed block in my brain that doesn't allow me to write longer fics.


That's that for now. It's really, really late. I know it's bad but lately I've been going to bed after 1 a.m.

Don't tell my boyfriend; he'll be pissed.

Be willing to be fixed, it's the only way.

Alright... Bad, bad blogger, me. If it counts, I was actually writing my latest fic, it's in Bahasa Indonesia, the title is Beautiful Lie [to Believe in] (yes, it's taken from 30 Seconds to Mars' song because I'm just crazy about this band). It's posted to my facebook notes. But then it's in Indonesian, I don't suppose everyone can read it (unless you know Indonesian).

I seriously had to write it down, simply because the idea had been bugging the crap out of me for weeks. Starting from a silly convo between me and my two friends (which contains, mostly, about a teacher-student relationship), the idea popped up. In my mind it became even more specific, and a hell lot more intense in the matter of conflicts and problems. There are a lot of sensitive issues that I wanted to put in into this story, such as, aside from homoeroticism itself, incest, rape, bullying, family dispute and even a slice of psychological disorder. It's going to be one heck of a story to write, and hopefully it won't get stuck in the middle of the way. Let's cross our fingers for that.

Gracie (a_happy_twat) also asked me if I would do an English version of this fic (basically because she wants to read the UruhaxRuki part... hahaha~). Maybe I will. Well it's one of the heaviest ideas I have ever come up with, so far, so I guess it will be only fair to let everyone else read it too. I wish I had more hours in a day, though, so I could write everything I was thinking of, which is a lot.

With Beautiful Lie, I suppose I have too many to work on right now. I'm listing my unfinished fanfics here and the progress they are going through up until this very moment:

• House of Horrors chapter 04 = 05%
• 5sentence_fics the third batch (prompts 11-15) = 20%
• Love Song chapter 02 = 08%
• Beautiful Lie [to Believe in] chapter 02 = 10%
  

The worst part is, I haven't determined how far those multichapter fics will go. I think that maybe Love Song won't go further than 10 chapters, but I have a tendency to exceed my own expectation *bitter laugh*.

I guess, all that I can do for now is work as hard as my brain allows me to (I wish I was making money out of this). And also pray that I will be given the time to write, that's truly the most important thing of all.



By the way, I can't help noticing that, lately, there have been many Indonesian fanfic authors popping up on the communities. I have to say that I feel very happy. It's nice to know my fellow Indonesians have decided to join the fun. What bothers me is the errors they make. I am not saying that I'm perfect, no, I'm far from that. I make lots of mistakes and I still can't tell which is right and which is wrong in the matter of grammars and structures and tenses. But I've done efforts to fix my mistakes, in the form of finding a beta. I did have a beta, back then (she's been around during Hanabi and Yomenai Kotoba). I have learned a lot from her, and I dare say I have improved from the very first time I wrote in English. And yes, xenocia helped me out too in fixing At the Beginning of an End (and that was probably the most helpful beta job I've ever faced).

That is truthfully the most important thing about having a beta: so that you could LEARN. You need to learn what you did wrong in order to become better in the future. It's what being a human being is all about, isn't it? Life is all about learning. You can't be stuck in one point while the rest of the world is moving ahead of you. If you insist to, then everyone will just leave you behind. The same goes with writing; I SUCKED when I first started. But I wanted to get better, thus I've learned along the way.

I'm just begging you, fellow authors, to consider getting a beta (a COMPETENT one, I might add!) to work the elements of your story. If not for yourself, then for the people you expect to read your story. You might have the most brilliant idea in the universe but if you present it in the wrong way, your idea will just go to waste. And that's a big shame, isn't it?


Speaking of which, I am currently considering getting a new beta, not just anyone, but someone who is patient enough to deal with my schedule and my stubbornness. Someone who can actually TEACH me and tell me what I've done wrong. That'll be nice. Yeah.

I think I should put up an add.